Is it possible to homeschool without feeling guilty that you are not doing enough?
If you have been homeschooling for five minutes, it’s very likely you have experienced homeschool mom guilt.
Homeschooling guilt is something that happens to a lot of homeschool moms. It’s a sneaky feeling that creeps up on you especially on bad days.
Like all moms, we all want to do right by our kids. We want to give our kids the best chance to succeed, but sometimes we feel like we don’t measure up, and that weighs on your heart.
It’s hard to enjoy homeschooling if you’re constantly plagued with guilt, that’s why I want to share some ways I deal with this negative emotion called homeschool mom guilt.
Before we get into it, it’s a good idea to look at some of the reasons you’re struggling with homeschooling guilt.
COMMON REASONS FOR HOMESCHOOL MOM GUILT
- You are tired of homeschooling.
- You can’t do all the things you’d like (maybe because you have little ones in the home, work and homeschool or for financial reasons).
- You lack confidence or have doubts about your teaching abilities.
- You feel you may end up doing more harm than good to your kids by homeschooling them.
- You feel you are depriving your kids of some opportunities they would have had if they attended school.
- Your kids don’t have friends or they are lonely.
Did one or more of these reasons resonate with you? You’re not alone!
From my experience, these are some of the most common reasons many homeschool moms struggle with guilt.
But all hope isn’t lost.
If you have been battling with guilt and feeling hopeless, here are five practical things you can do to beat homeschool mom guilt.
5 POWERFUL WAYS TO BEAT HOMESCHOOL MOM GUILT
1. DO SOME SOUL SEARCHING
One of the first things I do when I start feeling guilty is to engage in some soul searching.
Soul searching for me involves taking a step back and asking myself some tough questions.
Some examples of questions I have asked in the past include:
- Am I really doing the best I can or am I winging it?
- Are there areas of my life or our homeschool that I can improve?
- Am I giving my kids the best opportunities (both academically and socially) that I can reasonably provide?
- Do I need to change anything to make me a better homeschool mom?
As you can see, those are some very tough questions to answer, but that’s one way I keep myself accountable especially when I feel I am going off track.
The key here is to be honest with yourself. Yes, sometimes the truth hurts, but it’s better to acknowledge your shortcomings so you can fix them and ditch the guilt.
The next thing I do after some personal reflection is to ask my kids for some feedback.
I ask them if there’s anything I can do to help them or make our homeschool better and more fun for them.
Periodically, I ask my kids if they think they are learning and whether they are happy with the way their lessons are going.
Before asking them these questions, I make them feel comfortable so they can be honest with me.
It’s always interesting to hear what the kids think and how they feel.
If you are burdened with guilt, can I encourage you to engage in some honest soul searching so you can get to the root of the matter.
Trust me, it will free you from guilt and keep you inspired and motivated (especially when you make some necessary changes).
2. PRACTICE CONTENTMENT
Have you ever felt guilty because you couldn’t do something for your kids or afford a resource, tool, or some classes for your kids?
When you are a homeschool mom, it’s hard to not compare yourself with other homeschooling moms or families.
But comparing yourself to other people leads to discontentment.
Discontentment oftentimes leads to guilt. Guilt that you can’t do or provide what other homeschool families are doing.
The only way to combat this is to practice contentment.
Accept that you can’t do everything or provide everything for your children.
Some people are going to have more than you and do more stuff for their kids than you can.
What is important is what you do with the resources that you have available to you.
How are you utilizing what you have? Are you making the most of what you have or can afford?
For example if you have access to free activities or classes are you making use of them?
Instead of feeling guilty because you can’t do as much as other homeschool moms (for one reason or the other), be content with what you have or can do, and make the most of whatever time or opportunity you have.
3. BE PRODUCTIVE
If you’re really honest, you will admit that one of the reasons you suffer from homeschool mom guilt is because you’re inconsistent in homeschooling or not as productive as you should be.
How do I know this? It’s because I have been there. I am also that mom.
When I am lax with my homeschooling responsibilities, I start to feel guilty after a while.
That little voice inside me starts nudging me and reminding me that I am failing in my duty.
We all know when we are not doing enough for our kids.
The only way I can quiet that voice is to get back on track and start honoring my commitment.
When you decided to homeschool, you made a commitment to provide an education for your kids, when you fall short for no good reason (like sickness, a family emergency, some kind of crisis), you’re bound to feel guilty.
If this is your situation, it’s an easy one to fix.
Get busy. Start being productive.
As long as you’re being productive and improving your life and your kids lives,then you have no reason to feel guilty.
4. PRACTICE GRATITUDE
Do you know some homeschool moms feel guilty for homeschooling their kids?
If you are one of those moms, may I encourage you to stop feeling guilty about your educational choice and instead be thankful?
There are lots of moms who’d like to trade places with you. Many moms don’t have the option to homeschool.
I know for some of you homeschool moms out there, your decision may not have been by choice or you have other preferences. I know that can be pretty tough to accept.
But instead of feeling guilty about your choice (or maybe the fact you don’t enjoy homeschooling) try practicing gratitude.
A grateful heart can do wonders for you and help you see things in a different light.
As a mom, guilt is never far away whether you are a stay at home mom, working mom or homeschool mom. We all seem to have something to feel guilty about.
The problem is guilt can easily rob you of your joy and peace if you’re not diligent.
So the next time you start feeling guilty about homeschooling, take a step back and remind yourself that you’re privileged to have this incredible opportunity.
5. ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE ENOUGH
Do you struggle with perfectionism?
Are you one of those moms who find it hard to let things go or blame yourself when things don’t work out the way you want?
I really hate feeling inadequate, but in my almost fourteen years of being a mom, I have learned that nothing makes you feel as inadequate as being a parent.
I have had moments when I pondered where I went wrong because of something my child did or didn’t do.
I have felt guilty and responsible when my kids struggled to understand some of their lessons.
I experienced guilt the first time my kids didn’t have a a warm meal the whole day.
I have blamed myself for all manner of things (including things I have no control of) just because they weren’t perfect.
It’s easy to forget that life isn’t perfect and our kids are not going to be perfect just because we homeschool them.
That’s why I have lowered my expectations and accepted that I am enough. I am good enough.
Everything doesn’t have to be perfect to be good.
To the mom who is drowning in homeschool mom guilt, may I remind you that you are enough?
As long as you’re doing what’s best for your kids and motivated by love, you can let go of guilt and perfectionism.
HOW TO BEAT HOMESCHOOL MOM GUILT(BEFORE IT STEALS YOUR JOY)
As a homeschool mom, it’s doubtful you can ever be completely free of guilt.
You’re still going to have those moments when something tries to make you feel guilty. But I don’t want you to live each day burdened with guilt or allow guilt to rob you of your peace of mind.
There are ways you can beat homeschool mom guilt and I hope the ideas I shared in this post will help you enjoy guilt-free homeschooling.
Here are the five ways again:
HOW TO BEAT HOMESCHOOL MOM GUILT
- Do some soul searching
- Practice contentment
- Be Productive
- Practice gratitude
- Accept that you are enough
How do you deal with homeschooling guilt?