Tips for single moms who need some motivation to keep fighting for their dreams
I have been a single mom for a long time, and one of my biggest challenges is finding the motivation to keep fighting for my dreams.
How do you stay motivated when it feels like everything is conspiring against you? What do you do when life feels so hard and you think you can’t do this anymore?
A lot of people don’t understand or appreciate how hard life can be as a single mom, so it’s hard to share your frustrations or find support when you feel discouraged.
Being a single mom is hard. Lots of times you just want to give up. I can’t tell you how many times I have said to myself, “What is the point?” Or, “I don’t have the strength for this anymore.” However, anytime I feel this way, I always find a way to lift myself up because giving up is not an option for me.
So, if you are a single mom in need of some motivation, I have got loads for you.
In this post, you will find tips, ideas, and encouragement to help you keep dreaming and keep fighting. If this sounds good to let, let’s dive in.
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1. MOTIVATION FOR SINGLE MOMS STARTS WITH BELIEF OR FAITH
Motivation for single moms must be grounded in faith or self-belief. You have to believe that it is possible to achieve your goals and live the life you want. Without belief, you will find yourself settling for less than the best, making excuses for not trying, or worse, you stop dreaming.
But, without dreams or goals, you have nothing to shoot for. You have nothing to inspire you to be the best or strive for a better life. Your motivation as a single mom comes from knowing that there’s something better out there, and you have what it takes to create a better life for you and your kids.
When I feel down or uninspired, I talk myself up. I remind myself that there’s nothing stopping me from living the life that I want. I have what it takes, and I need to believe that. That’s how I build up my confidence, so I can keep fighting for my dreams.
Now, this doesn’t mean I always get what I want, but it means I never give up on the dream of a better life.
Don’t ever accept that being a single mom means a life of mediocrity or unfulfilled dreams. Yes, you might need to work harder than other people because of your circumstances. The process will be more difficult (especially, if you have no support), but you can achieve your goals and have a good or great life. You just gotta believe that, create a plan, then do the work.
2. ALWAYS BE SETTING GOALS
If you want to stay motivated all the time (or most of the time), then you need some goals to shoot toward.
At any given time, I always have a list of goals or things I am trying to achieve. You can’t stay motivated if you live a stagnant life. As a single mom, you can’t afford to be stagnant. You should be working to improve your life in every area.
So, whether it is improving your finances, getting healthier, spending more time with your kids, going back to school, or getting a better job, there are lots of goals to choose from.
If you struggle with motivation, start by setting some goals. Set some short-term and long-term goals. You can even set goals for your family.
Goal setting keeps you focused and motivated. When you have things you are trying to accomplish, it is hard to stay discouraged or stagnant.
Working towards a new goal is a great way for single moms to stay motivated. If you don’t know where to start or what goals to set, check out Personal Development for Moms: 5 Areas to Focus On for some ideas. Try setting at least one goal in each area, and start working towards achieving them.
3. YOU NEED A PLAN TO KEEP YOUR SINGLE MOM MOTIVATION UP
While creating new goals for yourself can be pretty exciting and motivating, you can’t stop there. If you want to stay motivated (especially during tough times), you will also need a plan.
As a single mom, I spend a lot of time planning and mapping out my life. I know where I want to be and I understand I need a roadmap to get there.
For example, years ago when I needed a career change, I sat down and created a plan. Moving to a new career/profession meant I had to go back to school to get a different degree. So, I worked out how long it would take me to complete college, worked out how I could accelerate my degree, how much I needed, and how I was going to survive with two kids while I was back in school.
Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t have all the answers or know how everything was going to pan out, but I had a guide, and I was willing to make a move. I also knew I would have to make some changes along the way.
Having a plan kept me motivated because I knew what I was trying to achieve and how to do it. That’s what you need too if you want to stay motivated as a single mom.
Lots of single moms have big goals and great ideas but what they lack is concrete or tangible plan. They don’t have a roadmap to get them from where they are to where they want to be, so at the first hurdle, they quit and give up on their dream.
So, whatever your goals are, you are going to need a plan if you really want to accomplish them. If you need a reason to keep fighting and believing, then you need goals and a plan.
What are your goals? Do you have a plan for accomplishing them?
If you need some tools for goal setting or planning, check out the list below.
4. KEEP YOUR SINGLE MOM MOTIVATION UP WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
A positive attitude or mindset can help you sustain your motivation.
Let’s be honest here for a second.
For us single moms, there are so many things or reasons that can make you feel negative. For instance, never having a break or time for yourself, working more than one job to make ends meet, loneliness, or just parenting and making decisions all by yourself. It feels like it is never-ending.
Being a single mom is extremely challenging and there’s just no way to sugarcoat it. However, a negative mindset or attitude will hold you back. Not only will it rob you of your joy in life, but it will also kill your dreams. That’s why you have to try to stay positive no matter what.
Yes, you will feel overwhelmed, tired and angry sometimes, but you have to find ways to manage and sustain your motivation, so you can keep fighting for your dream (I know you have one).
So, how do you sustain or nurture a positive mindset or attitude? I am glad you asked! Here are some things I have found helpful.
- Reduce or stop negative self-talk. It serves no purpose except to make you feel bad (or like crap).
- Have a strong support system (if possible). Avoid negative and toxic people or communities.
- Feed your mind and soul with positive words and thoughts. You can read success stories, listen to motivational talks, or read motivational books.
- Focus on the positives in your life. Spend more time thinking about the things that are going well in your life and not the things that are not working. Using a gratitude journal can help you focus on your blessings and wins.
Don’t underestimate the power of a positive attitude or mindset. So, do all you can to stay positive, especially in the face of adversity.
5. FOCUS ON SELF-DEVELOPMENT AND GROWTH
Self-confidence is important when you are a single mom. You can’t allow the past or past failures to hold you back or dictate your future. Self-confidence allows you to focus on your strengths and be bold.
And, do you know what one of the most effective keys to self-confidence is? It’s knowledge!
The more you focus on personal growth and development, the more knowledge you gain. With knowledge comes self-confidence. When you have self-confidence, you don’t allow fear to hold you back or knock you off the path you want to go.
With self-confidence, you can find a way through any hurdle or setback, so you can keep improving. It’s very important to keep improving yourself, especially in the most important areas of your life (like your health and finances).
So, if you have been struggling with motivation, it’s possible you have been in a rut for a long time. If that’s the case, it is time to pick yourself up and start afresh. We can’t talk about motivation for single moms without talking about self-confidence and personal growth.
The more you work on yourself and see results, the more motivated you will feel. So, if you have been neglecting yourself, it’s time to start working on yourself.
Identify a few areas of your life where you can grow and improve, and start doing the necessary work.
6. MAINTAIN A HEALTHY ROUTINE OR SCHEDULE
Unfortunately, lots of single moms have to burn the candle at both ends, leaving them tired or exhausted. When you are tired or overwhelmed, it is hard to stay motivated.
Single mom motivation is about learning how to cope and find some balance in your busy life. Many single moms forget or neglect to look after their physical or mental health, no wonder so many of them are burned out.
Physical and mental wellness plays a huge part in keeping you motivated, so it is essential you don’t ignore this very important part of your life.
Maintaining a healthy routine or schedule means getting enough sleep, engaging in some exercise, maintaining a healthy diet, and finding time for self-care. Yes, I know this is easier said than done because moms always put themselves last unless something forces them to make a change.
Don’t wait until you are completely burned out or demotivated to make changes to your life. Yes, that includes changing jobs or changing to a different work schedule that is more conducive to your life.
For example, years ago, I changed my work schedule from the third shift to the first shift because I was burned out and not spending enough time with my young kids. That change improved our family life and made me wonder why I didn’t do it sooner.
So, don’t wait one more day to make changes to your routine or schedule (if you think it will help your motivation).
7. DON’T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF
I am my own worst critic. I can be very hard on myself, especially when I fall short. However, I am also learning to be kinder to myself.
Lots of single moms fail to celebrate their wins. Instead, they focus on their losses and all their struggles. But, you can’t do that. When you focus on your struggles, it makes you feel like a failure, and that’s demotivating.
Now, I am not saying you should ignore your problems instead of fixing them (burying your head in the sand is not how you grow or succeed). What I am saying is that your wins are important too, so celebrate them.
Don’t beat yourself up because you have not achieved some of your goals. Instead, assess the situation and find solutions.
Celebrating your small wins will motivate you to seek bigger wins and to aim higher. So, when you start feeling unmotivated, grab a piece of paper, make a list of all the things you have accomplished, and celebrate them.
If you can’t think of anything, that just means you need some new goals or projects to work on.
8. UNDERSTAND THAT MOTIVATION IS NEVER DONE
The first step to staying motivated is to understand that motivation is not a one-and-done deal. Staying motivated requires constant work. Motivation for single moms is possible as long as you put in some effort.
As a single mom, you are going to have highs and lows, so it is important that you stay focused and find ways to inspire yourself. Don’t wait until you start feeling low before you take action.
Motivation requires constant top-ups, so get into the habit of feeding it. Whether it is reading motivational quotes, listening to uplifting music, or motivational talks, there’s no shortage of ways to feed your motivation.
So, when you feel you are losing some steam, fire yourself back up and keep pressing on.
Final thoughts on single mom motivation
Motivation requires drive and effort. As a single mom, lack of motivation can be costly. If you lack the motivation to grow or improve your life, you will keep struggling to make ends meet.
Motivation for single mothers is also understanding that you don’t have to wait until you are motivated to get things done. Sometimes you have to start before the spark comes.
So, if you have been struggling with motivation, know that you are not alone. Hopefully, the tips in this post will help you stay motivated (as long as you use them).
Finally, when you feel tired or feel like giving up, keep pressing on until you reignite the spark.
Are you a single mom struggling to stay motivated?