STAY AT HOME MOM RUT IS REAL AND CAN MAKE YOU LOSE YOUR JOY IN MOTHERHOOD
If you’ve been a stay at home mom for a while, you know how easy it is to fall into a rut.
I’m one of those stay at home moms who sort of fell into it.
Before I had kids, I never thought about becoming a stay at home mom. I always assumed I would keep working outside the home, but when circumstances dictated otherwise, I embraced it.
I actually enjoyed it at the beginning, but after a while I started having doubts because being a sahm wasn’t as much fun anymore.
You see what happened is I’d fallen into a slump and I was struggling with everything.
It’s easy to lose motivation when you’re stuck at home doing the same things over and over and feeling like life’s passing you by.
Being a stay at home mom can suck the joy out of you if you’re not diligent.
Here are some telltale signs you might be in a stay at home mom rut.
- You’ve stopped caring about your appearance, health and other things.
- You feel angry, depressed, sad and maybe impatient.
- You’ve lost your spark. You’ve lost interest in some things that you used to enjoy.
Stay at home mom rut is a serious issue that you can’t just ignore (well not if you want to be a happy and fulfilled mom).
I have been in a rut and it sucks, that’s why I want to share some tips to help you get out of rut and start thriving as a stay at home mom.
When you decided to be a stay at home mom, I am pretty sure you didn’t sign up to be miserable. The good news is that you don’t have to be if you don’t want to.
If you’re ready to get out of your slump and turn your life around, settle in let me show you how to do it.
Before we jump in, let me say that while the title of this post is ” How to Get Out of Stay at Home Mom Rut in 5 Daays,” it’s possible you may need more than five days to accomplish this.
Feel free to take as much time as you like, but please be proactive and take steps to get yourself out of mom rut.
With that out of the way, let’s get to work.
HOW TO GET OUT OF STAY AT HOME MOM RUT
DAY 1 – FINDING YOUR PURPOSE AS A STAY AT HOME MOM
Many moms suffer from a loss of identity.This may be slightly worse for stay at home moms.
It’s very easy to lose your identity when you become a mom especially when your life revolves around your kids.
Many moms fall into the trap of seeing themselves as “Just mom” or thinking that what they do isn’t valuable. When this happens you start losing your sense of self worth.
If you’re wondering what your purpose is because you feel lost and not sure who you are anymore, I want you to take the time to do some soul searching.
Spend sometime reflecting and looking deep into your heart to find your purpose.
Think of your purpose as something that changes depending on your current season.
Your purpose is the thing that makes your life meaningful. When you have a sense of purpose, you feel fulfilled and content. You’re happy with your life because you know you’re doing the right thing at the right time.
In my case, I fell into a rut because I lost my sense of purpose as a stay at home mom.
This happened because being a mom was no longer satisfying because I felt like I was wasting my life.
I no longer felt fulfilled as a stay at home mom.
Part of the reason I felt this way was because I didn’t feel valued and I didn’t feel like I was contributing anything meaningful to my family or life in general.
But I was wrong.
Because as a stay at home mom who cared for her kids, raised them and was present for them, I was doing something meaningful.
Yes, its not the most glamorous job in the world, but it was the job I needed to do at the time.
Perhaps you can identify with me.
Maybe you are in a rut because you lack a sense of purpose, feel worthless or think you could (or should) be doing something else.
Whatever your reason is, it’s time for some self reflection. You can use some of the questions below to help you figure out your purpose.
- Who are you?
- Who do you want to be?
- What are you meant to be doing right now?
- What do you think is missing in your life?
- What will make you feel complete or feel like you’re making a difference?
- Why are you a stay at home mom (hint that may well be your purpose)?
Finding your purpose as a stay at home mom doesn’t mean you have to make any drastic changes to your life.
For some of you, maybe your purpose is to be fully present for your family in this season of life, while for others you may feel that you need to do something more.
Also for many of you, finding your purpose as a stay at mom may be as simple as reminding yourself of the reason for staying at home and all the benefits of being a stay at home mom.
For others, it may be as simple as reminding yourself that what you do is very valuable even if you don’t feel that way.
Whatever happens, by answering these questions, you would have taken the first step to getting out of stay at home mom rut.
DAY 2 – FIND YOUR MOTIVATION
We all need motivation to keep doing what we are doing (and doing them happily!).
As a stay at home mom, it’s really important that you have ways to stay motivated because an unmotivated mom is an unhappy and unproductive mom.
Having a way or ways to motivate yourself is one of the keys to getting out of rut. It doesn’t matter if your motivation is intrinsic or extrinsic, what’s important is that you stay motivated.
So how do you get things done when you’re feeling out of it, exhausted or having a really bad day?
Here are some ways I find motivation even when I’d rather just give up.
- I focus on my why. Why am I a stay at home mom? Why did I decide to become a stay at home mom? Who needs me? Why is it important that I get out of this slump?
- I try to figure out the cause. Why do I feel unmotivated? Why am I in a rut? Am I struggling with any particular area of my life? How do I fix it?
- I remind myself that I am in charge.There are days when it’s so much easier to play the victim or act like I don’t have a choice. But that’s hardly ever a winning strategy. When I lack motivation, I remind myself that I am in charge and it’s my responsibility to fix whatever is making me unhappy or keeping me in a rut.
- Feed my mind with lots of positive thoughts. Sometimes all it takes is to listen to some uplifting music, read the bible (or meditate on scriptures), read some positive quotes and affirmations. Anything to get myself into a good head space.
Some other ways you can find motivation are:
- Create a supportive environment. One way to do this is to surround yourself with supportive and positive people. Having a network of supportive people is a good way to stay inspired and motivated. It could be other stay at home moms, friends or family members.
- Accept help from others. When you’re in a rut, it’s okay to accept help from others. Find one or two people you can lean on (including your husband) and be willing to accept help. This is not the time to be a super woman or try to do it all alone. It’s okay to let others motivate you every now and again.
- Take breaks as needed. Don’t wait until you crash and burn before you take a break. Quite a few of you are running on fumes and it’s no wonder you lack motivation. Schedule frequent breaks to refresh your mind and body. Its one of the best ways to find motivation (and stay motivated).
DAY 3 – SET NEW GOALS
When was the last time you set new goals or new challenges for your self?
One of the reasons many stay at home moms are in a rut is because they have allowed things to get too stale.
If you want to remain fresh and motivated you need to set new goals, find new challenges and shake things up!
The beginning of the year is a good time to set goals for yourself.
What would you like to accomplish this year? What are your goals?
If you’re in a slump try to find new challenges that will keep you inspired and motivated throughout the year.
Your goals can be short term or long term.
I understand that when you’re juggling lots of responsibilities, it’s hard to find the time to set goals much less to create a plan and work on your goals, but that’s exactly what you need to do to get out of rut.
If you haven’t already set some goals for the year, take some time to create some new ones.
You can set goals in the following area:
- Family and parenting goals
- Health and fitness
- Spiritual life
- Intellectual development
- Habits (time management, getting organized,dealing with procrastination)
There is no limit to the types of goals you can set. Just make sure your goals are realistic, measurable and that they are important to you.
Trust me, having new goals and new challenges will inspire you and give you something to look forward to and work towards.
DAY 4 – CREATE NEW ROUTINES AND MAKE CHANGES
Does every day feel like it’s the same? Do you find yourself doing the same things every day, every week and every month?
That’s enough to drive anyone into a slump!
While I believe having routines and schedules are good things, they can get old, boring and monotonous really fast.
If you are still doing the same things you did when your kids were babies or preschoolers, it’s time to shake things up!
Try to add some spice, variation and spontaneity to your life to make it a bit more exciting and different.
Spend some time creating new routines and doing things differently!
I am not asking you to do anything crazy or to go overboard, but making a few changes to the way you do life might be just what the doctor ordered.
I am the first person to admit that I don’t like making changes, but I know that they are a necessary part of life.
You need to change to grow, to make progress because the alternative is to stay stuck and that isn’t any good.
Like the tennis legend Roger Federer said ” If you don’t do anything or you just do the same thing over and over again, you stay the same, and staying the same means going backwards.”
So start by taking stock of your current situation. Where can you make changes? What can you change to make life more fun and fulfilling for you and your family?
DAY 5 – INVEST IN PERSONAL GROWTH
When was the last time you did anything for yourself?
Are you too busy taking care of everyone’s needs that you’ve completely neglected your own?
Being a stay at home mom doesn’t mean you shouldn’t invest in your personal growth.
I know you may be overwhelmed by the day to day grind and your personal growth has taken a back seat.
But that’s a big mistake.
It’s a mistake that would ensure you don’t make any progress and will leave you feeling worthless and without an identity of your own.
In the midst of your busyness, it’s important that you invest in your personal growth.
Start thinking long term and not just living in the now.
There are many ways you can invest in your personal growth.
You can find some new hobbies. Practice self care. Start a business from home. Learn a new language or skill.
So many possibilities.
If you’re wondering where to start, the easiest way is to create a personal development action plan to meet the goals you set on day 3, or think about some areas of your life you’d like to improve.
Learning and personal development should never stop whether you are a stay at home mom or not.
GETTING OUT OF STAY AT HOME MOM RUT
I know some of you reading this post may have been in a rut for a long time and have probably given up on your goals or happiness.
But, I want you to remember that you have a choice as to how you live your life.
I understand some of you may have financial, health or some other constraints, but I want to encourage you to not sit around feeling sorry for yourself.
Instead, spend the time brainstorming ideas that would move you forward, set goals, create a plan and take action.
That’s how you beat stay at home mom rut.
Are you going through a slump right now or have you ever been in a rut? What did you do to get out of it? What would you do differently?